Sunday, 20 February 2011

Oh goodness, just look at the time

Well I was keen today not to come back on here and start blogging about utter boring rubbish, but I was intending to do an entry for Saturday and now the clock has defeated me and it is already technically Sunday. This shows you how busy I have been writing my first ever sociology essay - ooooooo. Not that it is finished as yet. I was a bit disappointed tonight as I had been hoping to catch a glimpse of the aurora borealis as promised by several days ago but unfortunately I have learnt that:-

large black snow clouds + low level of geomagnetic activity ≠ northern lights.

I went to uni today which was fairly uneventful, apart from I was wearing little canvas pumps, not realising that we had had actual snow overnight. I love the university building though, I will definitely take some photos next time I am there and show you. It is in a really new part of Leeds Met - the outside of which has fascinated me since it was built mid 2010. The inside is just as high quality and impressive.

I have some rather exciting plans for tomorrow which I am really looking forward to now. My housemate Pippa and me are having a girly day, starting with breakfast and shopping (she needs a bit of a pick me up as she is having man trouble) then a fish foot pedicure, jogging in my favourite park and a bit of a makeover. I don't feel great about the fish or the jogging but I always said I would try anything once. I will let you know how it all goes, maybe do a day in photos type entry using my hipstamatic app for my iphone. I love the way the photos come out on it even though for me personally it feels like I am cheating the world of analogue photography which is close to my heart.

Speaking of man trouble (err was I?), I am having a bit of my own at the moment. Not trouble with my man as such but the man in my life is having troubles. It is making me a bit upset and I know I am overreacting and being a typical hormonal woman about it and making it all about myself but I can't help that unfortunately. He has now been back to the doctors about his tummy/bowel problems and they have prescribed him a very low dose of anti-depressants. I know that they have done this because they think his problems are all down to stress but I can't help feeling like a) there is more to it than that, b) I don't want him to start on a drug which is so hard to ever come off once you are feeling better and c) I absolutely HATE the idea of him being "depressed" because it makes me feel like I am not good enough and let him down in some way. Rational Claire knows that this is ridiculous on a lot of levels because his stress/depression are all related to his work life anyway, the doctors have only given him a tiny dose to see if it helps his tummy not because they think he is clinically depressed or anything and also I shouldn't be making his problems about me. But the other Claire, feels crap for not being able to help him without the need for a drug intervention like a good fiancee could and I also feel terrible about buying our own home as it means he has to stay in a job he hates to make the mortgage payments. Hopefully in a few weeks he will have his tummy all sorted and then he can come off the drugs and be happy Dave again, although I can't help feeling as if, drugs or no drugs this is all an impossible dream until he finds a new job.

1 comment:

  1. I like your site. Thanks! Here is a true story of mine in return.

    Lisa Nicole Lopes had premonitions about her own death, but she wasn't able to avoid it, despite the early warnings. I feel that I can relate to her, but I dealt with similar suspicions (of my own) differently than she did and I, unlike her, am here to tell you what I did to survive my first encounter with The Reaper.

    Lisa Lopes was better known as Left Eye (a nickname that a boyfriend gave her because he said that her left eye was lazy). She was one of three singers in the 80's band TLC. Her premonitions about her own death and subsequent untimely demise are well documented, because Lisa and a crew were filming a documentary in Honduras during the time. Left Eye Lopes spoke on film about her omen, and again after a car that she was riding in had run over and killed a young boy. She lamented that the spirit that killed the boy was actually aiming for her but had missed.

    Lopes paid for the little boy's funeral and did what she could to comfort the lost lad's family. Apparently Left Eye was right about the spirit that haunted her, because a month after the boy's death, Lopes died in a car crash (in Honduras). This time she was driving. Lisa was the only one in the vehicle that was wearing a seat-belt, but she died... and everyone else survived.

    After hearing a story like this, some would say that it was Lisa's time, and that there wasn't anything that she could do to avoid it. Had I not gone through a similar situation, I might agree. But since I did, I don't.

    There was a time when I felt like (my) death was close to me. I ignored the eery feelings for awhile, chocking them up to pessimism, but eventually I faced the strengthening force, first by admitting to my self that it existed. Left Eye got this far, but recognizing spirits isn't rocket science for god's sake. You have to fight shit like this, not freeze like a deer caught in the headlights!


    It was 1986 and I was in Davenport, Iowa, when I finally decided to face the Reaper before he faced me. Since the Reaper has no face, I'm speaking figuratively.
    I was sitting on a bar stool when a fellow came in asking if anyone wanted to get a tattoo. We chatted, and before too long I was the customer that he was looking for. We left the bar and went to a little garage space that he tattooed out of. The scene was totally unprofessional, as far as tattoo shops go, but since I was a carny (carnival guy) it wasn't anything new to me. I stopped the artist from apologizing for the place and we got down to the business of picking something out to tattoo on me.

    There wasn't a lot to choose from, no walls of colorful flash or volumes of designs just a single, thinly filled, loose leaf binder. Having never wanted a skull tattoo, I surprised myself by selecting one with a black rose between it's teeth. "That's the Black Rose Of Death tattoo," the needler told me. "Perfect," I proclaimed! "It's just what I need to fight the reaper. Put it on my left arm where I can keep my eye on him.¨

    I believe that the left represents the spiritual side and the right represents the physical side, so my tattoos are placed accordingly. One month later, in Chicago, I was stabbed (in the heart and stomach) to death. The doctor that saved me, said that I have a new birthday and... I still have that tattoo, too.